Love Without Words
by E.Anita
Summary: Bella has had some problems in her life that made her live in her own world trying to shut out reality. That is, until she meets the freshly moved Cullen family. She instantly forms a bond with Alice, and is quickly swept off her feet by the handsome Edward. The strength of their love will be tested by Bella's past and Tanya, who lives with the family and is in love with Edward.
1. Chapter 1

_This is a story I've started writing a few years earlier, but at one point I didn't know how to continue it and quit._

 _Now I reread it, and after changing some aspects and rewriting it, I decided to publish it here._

 _As I'm new at writing and publishing on this site, I look forward to your opinion, good and bad as well._

 _I hope you'll enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it._

 _Please read and review!_

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Bella awoke with a start. The shadows in her dimly lit bedroom appeared to be cast by the same person who was haunting her dreams since that fateful day, in which her life, up until then the normal life of any girl of her age, changed drastically. Trying to slow her heartbeat, her eyes were drawn to the window, in which the first rays of the new day's sun were slowly invading the stillness of the room. Emerging from the bed, Bella walked to the window and watched the world coming to life in the dawn's light. Trying to come fully awake, she rubbed her eyes, only to discover the tears on her cheeks, the remaining symbols of the nightmare she just woke from.

She came to live with her father, but, although she loved him dearly, had given him only moments of grief and sadness since her moving in. Everything started out fine, they were getting along very well, until that day… That day she would rather forget, but couldn't… And this incapacity to forget is destroying her life, as a student, as a daughter, as a woman. She loved going to school, to meet new people, to befriend them, but she lost all her spirit that day. Now, it was a strain to start a new day, to go to school, to face the people, who, months, years ago, were her friends, to come home again and see the pained expression on his father's face.

Bella would love nothing more than to run away, to put distance between herself and her nightmarish experience, but she knew she can't do this. She had to finish the school first, for having any chance for a new start, but, she knew that this was not the only, nor the main reason for not doing anything reckless, even having though about it several times. Her father was this reason. She couldn't just desert him the way her mother has so many years ago. She knew too well that if she would do something careless, like driving away and never coming back, or something even more reckless, it would kill him. So she put on day by day a good face and tried to live through this period.

The two year since the happening that forever changed Bella's mind, heart and view of the world, had been pure hell for her and her father. Months have passed until the day she could start to be herself again, although a much less confident and brave woman than she was before. Her relationship with her mother had come to a point of no return as it seems, and it saddened her beyond reason. She grew up being often jealous of the relation between her friend and their parents, the ties that bound some of her friend's families together was foreign for her, getting to know the meaning of love, serenity and acceptance after moving back with her father.

Bella saw from the window of her bedroom her father, the sheriff, leaving for work and it bought her back to the present. She ought to get ready for school too. She didn't feel like it, but she knew that she can start missing again, just because her heart wasn't in it. Maybe, just maybe, if her friends would be by her side, the school days could be pleasurable, but as it is, they were keeping their distance now, and Bella didn't know how to reach out to them, and rebuild the friendships that she dearly missed. They tried to be by her side, but there was a time when she was so absorbed in her thought, in her suffering, and the trying to cope with everything, that she pushed away every person who wanted to be by her side. True, her friends never knew the extent of what happened to her. In fact, nobody, beside her family, her father and mother, knew about it.

Bella took a shower and prepared herself for the day to come. She then chose some ordinary clothes from her closet and went into the kitchen for a brief breakfast. While eating and sipping her coffee, she surveyed the contents of the fridge to see what she had to buy for the dinner of that evening. Making a note of the ingredients that she needed to supply for the pizza she had in mind, she took her jacket and went to her car. Driving through the city to get to school, and then back home, was one of her favorite activities of the day. After the happening it became more so, it was the time of the day when nobody was looking at her with curiosity, at school, or with angst, at home. Arriving in the parking lot of her school, she left her car and clutching the strap of her bag, with her eyes in the floor, she made her way to her first class.

The school activities of the day bore Bella. She loved to work in school, it kept her mind occupied, but this day was not her day as it seemed. The subjects were too easy for her, and when she paid attention to the chatter of her schoolmates, she was surprised to hear them talking about the new guys, who started coming to the school the week before. For Bella it was nothing new that they were curious about them, they were about her too, when she first came in here. But after a day or two, when she started making her first friends, the attention subsided and everybody accepted her, never again making a fuss around her. So she was astonished that they still discussing so much about them.

For the rest of the day she listened to the conversations around her, after a long time, really being interested in what was being said. She knew so, that the new kids were the children of the new doctor in town, although they were his and his wife's adopted kids. They were rich and good looking, everybody seemed to think so. Bella just realized that, although they arrived almost a month ago in town, and started the school the week before, she never met them; she was so absorbed in her own world.

Curiosity got the better of her and she started to look out to unknown faces in the crowd, but she failed to lay her eyes on strangers. She listened to two of her ex friends talk about them in English class. They talked about how handsome the boys were and, although said with a little envy, how beautiful were the girls. As Bella understood, they were six, three boys, three girls. As she continued to listen while pretending to read the book that lay open in front of her, she discovered that they seemingly were lovers too. Bella couldn't begin to comprehend, although it was legally alright, how two people who grew up together can look at each other with something more than friendship and brotherly love. She thought about Jacob, her best friend, whom she knew from before the divorce of her parents, and with whom she reacquainted after moving back to his father. She couldn't even make herself to think or look at him as a man, he will always be the boy who made her take part in exciting adventures and laughs when they were kids, and who stood behind her when her world came to pieces around her. He was her best friend, her brother, and she was so grateful to have him in her life.

When the time for lunch came, Bella went to the canteen with the rest of her schoolmates and after buying something to eat, she sat down at a lonely table in the back of the hall. This was the favorite time of her and her friends back in the good days. She now sat almost every time alone and sometimes glanced at the table occupied by her friends. They were laughing, joking and passing a good time just as ever. It was the first time in months when Bella paid attention to the rest of the people in the canteen, while she waited her chance to see the new ones about whom she heard so much already. While surveying the hall, she discovered that some friendships ended in the last months, that new loves had blossomed and that everybody was living the time of their life's, in this year, before entering in the last year of childhood and total freedom.

In the canteen it became suddenly so quiet, that Bella, who usually lived in her own private world, realized it was something important happening. The heads of all of her colleagues were on the door, so she turned her eyes in that direction too. And there they were, the new arrivals, who kept the whole school in a buzz, and it was obvious to everybody, that they indeed were lovers.

First, a beautiful blonde girl and a strong looking man walked in the canteen. The woman was probably the most beautiful one Bella ever laid her eyes on, and she knew it. In the way she walked, the way she looked at the faces staring at them, the way she smiled, like she was the queen of the world, there was a posture and a confidence Bella could only ever dream about. The boy was holding her hand, and a huge grin was playing on his face. It was plain to see, that the first and most important thing for which he was so smug, was because of the woman walking alongside him proudly.

After them came a pair totally opposite. The girl had a lovely smile on her face, and although she maybe wasn't as beautiful as the blonde goddess, she beamed with such pleasure that one was easily wrapped around her finger. She was short and slim, and her short black hair indicated playfulness and elegance at the same time. She was holding hands with a guy equally handsome, but much more serious, than the ones Bella observed before. He was surveying the room as he was seeking for some sort of danger. He was holding the little girls hand and when he looked at her it was plainly written on his face the deep love and need to protect her. Bella saw that the girl looked in her way, and her smile became even bigger, although she couldn't understand why. They never met before.

Her trail of thoughts was forgotten though when she glanced at the next guy. He was walking alone, without holding the hand of the girl who came in with him. He was the most handsome man she ever laid her eyes on. He was tall, muscular but not a hunk, with bronze, unruly hair. He walked without looking up, and it seemed he was deep in his thoughts. Beside him was a beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair, who was looking at him with longing. They didn't appear to be in love with each other, Bella thought, and she was surprised that she cared about such trivialities.

They all sat down together at a table and started a conversation. They were deeply entertained, all, except the little girl and the guy with bronze hair. The conversations at the other tables of the canteen started again too. Only Bella kept staring at the new family. The girl with the short hair was smiling with undiluted happiness and kept glancing at the table Bella was sitting at. Bella just couldn't understand why was this, but she had such a joyful expression on her face, that unwittingly, Bella smiled back at her.

The guy who drew Bella's attention when entered the hall was the total opposite of her, he sat without participating in the conversation, and appeared to be fuming over something silently. Bella didn't understand how and why she kept glancing at him, as though he was attracting her attention in some way. It was unusual for her to be this interested in somebody lately, so it was a new situation and emotion she had to deal with. As she was pondering about this, he abruptly raised his head and glanced in her direction. Their eyes connected over the fuss of the canteen and the world seemed to come to a stop for them. Bella was lost in the depths of his unusually beautiful gold eyes, which told her so much and at the same time so little about this man. She tried to avert her eyes a few times, but their eyes just kept seeking each other in the crowded canteen.

The lunch break finished and a little lightheaded and not fully understanding her own emotion, Bella went to her next class, biology. It was her favorite subject in school, and wanting to become a doctor, it was one she needed to master. As she was walking to the class, she kept thinking about the unusual new family. They had something strange about them, they were so very different, but the same in some way, it was disconcerting. Bella just couldn't point to the aspect which made them so unique and it frustrated her not to be able to fully comprehend this. She didn't paid attention to her surroundings, so she was startled when she glanced up in the biology class and saw the guy who drew her attention in the canteen sitting at her desk. She usually sat alone since her friends tired of her standoffish attitude.

The guy had a kind smile on his face and was looking at Bella with genuine interest. She closed the remaining distance between herself and her desk, and the guy, and after a few moments sat down beside him. She was nervous, she couldn't fully understand why, he didn't seem pose a threat, and with the smile on his face he tried to tell her that everything was alright. But her past experiences taught her to be careful with strangers, and she couldn't slow her heartbeat. But was it all just because she was a tad bit scared of him? Or was it more? Bella was thinking about her feelings, trying to analyze why was she so nervous around him, and why was she intrigued by him in equal way while she searched for her biology book in her bag. After she found it and set it on the desk, she saw a slow movement beside her, indicating that the guy turned to her. Bella glanced in his direction and saw that he wanted to start a conversation with her.


	2. Chapter 2

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For reasons totally unknown for Bella, her heart started to pound the very minute her eyes bore into the golden eyes of this stranger. In his eyes she discovered only curiosity and a slight hint of tenderness, and from the beautiful smile he gifted her with, she blushed in a way she was sure she had never before. What was happening to her, Bella felt a slight panic rise in her heart. Why was she feeling this way about a total stranger, when she couldn't even conserve the friends she had before? Why was it that she wanted to get lost in the golden depths of his unusual, but nonetheless beautiful eyes of his, when she didn't know anything, not even his name?

\- Hello, my name is Edward Cullen, and you are…? – He interrupted Bella's thought in the most deep velvety voice she ever heard. Bella got lost in the sound of his voice too. His voice, his eyes… could he be getting anymore close to perfection?

\- I'm Bella, Bella Swan – Bella's response came a few heartbeats later in a breathless voice, when she realized he was waiting for an answer and his look was getting uncomprehensive. – Why did you come to live in this little rainy town? – Bella asked, attempting to shift his focus from herself, because she didn't liked to be the center of the attention, and under his scrutiny she was feeling flushed.

\- Well, you, as everybody else, have probably heard the gossip about us – he laughed, although somewhat mirthlessly. Bella saw the heads of her classmates turn to look at them. Bella, the quiet girl, the freak was getting more attention than anybody else from this handsome guy, and it was clearly not setting well with her ex friends. – My adoptive father is a doctor, and although he could have worked in the biggest hospitals in the state, we came to live here, because Esme, my adoptive mother, wanted to live in a small town. We spent some time trying to find a suitable city and house for us until we found this city. It was the one, as Esme put it, she fell in love with it and couldn't imagine living someplace else.

\- What happened to your parents? – Bella asked when he stopped talking, wanting to hear his voice and to get to know him more, but felt instantly remorseful when she saw how hurt and how much sadness invaded his eyes at her question. – I'm sorry, I didn't want to pry and be indiscreet, but…

\- No problem – Edward interrupted her, with a sad smile playing on his shapely lips – They died, a very long time ago. But I was more than lucky having Esme and Carlisle as adoptive parents, better parents then them I don't think one could find.

Bella felt that although that he responded to her questions without reluctance, there was something hidden about him, something mysterious that she wanted to discover. But her next questions were put to a stop when the teacher walked in the class and started to talk. Bella sat quietly beside Edward, sometimes stealing a glance in his direction, only to find him already looking at her. She spent this hour trying to slow her heart and to keep from blushing, but it was a task she didn't seem to succeed. She was terrified by her feelings. She had friends before, lots of friends and she never felt anything like this for anyone, less alone somebody she didn't know. Why was this happening to her? she kept asking herself. Why was Edward having such a big impact on her when he, most than anybody should make Bella afraid and feeling him a threat. Why wasn't she feeling afraid, as she had with everybody else? She only felt a huge curiosity and desire to talk to him without limits. When the class was finished, she got her things in her bag as fast as she could and tried to get away from Edward and her own feelings and thoughts as fast as she could.

\- Wait, Bella! – she heard him and she stopped to see what he wanted to say to her. He jogged at her side and started to say something, but was interrupted by the blonde beauty Bella saw him with in the canteen too.

\- So here you are, I was searching you for some time now – the blonde girl said to him, in a voice so suave, but at the same time so annoying, that Bella felt a sudden urge to slap the silly grin of the girl's face.

\- I have to go. Bye! – was all that Bella trusted herself to say, although she didn't understand why she was acting so strange.

\- What do you want Tanya? – She heard Edward growl at the girl. Gone were the sweetness and the velvety quality from his voice.

It was just as everybody had said, they all were forming pairs, and all six were having love affairs with each other. And it was fine, as long as the doctor and her wife, Esme, didn't find anything to say or do against it, it was alright. It was after all their lives, their choices, so what would anybody have to say against them. The only thing Bella couldn't understand, why she was so annoyed about the prospect that Edward and that Tanya were together. What was her problem after all with that? She didn't even know them. As she was walking down the corridor, she ran into somebody. When Bella raised her head she was face to face with the short black haired girl she saw sitting with Edward and the others in the canteen. The girl had a sweet smile on her heart-shaped face.

\- Hi, I'm Alice Cullen. You must be Bella Swan, the daughter of the sheriff of this fair city. I'm so glad to meet you, I was looking forward to it. I will have now my first physical education class and I have no idea where to go, could you show me, please? – the girl was talking without stop, but she was adorable in her own way, and Bella returned her huge smile with one of her own.

\- Hi Alice, I'm glad to meet you too. I will have the same class as yourself, so I will escort you with pleasure.

\- That's so kind of you, thanks – Alice said with a trill and in the same time she embraced Bella and they walked together the rest of the way to the hall.

The first impression Bella had about Alice proved to be right. Alice was a girl so full of energy Bella could barely keep up with her. She kept talking all the way to their first class together, but she was so lovable and sweet that Bella didn't mind one bit that she met her. She tought that Alice was in reality the kind of girl that one could easily confide into and one could without any problem open her heart, because it was clear that she was fiercely loyal to the people she loved and cared about. For some unknown reason, Bella felt a powerful bond forming between them, although they only met a few minutes before, but she was almost sure that she could trust her with all her problems and secrets, a feeling she didn't had for her long time friends from the school.

When Alice and Bella arrived in the hall the teacher was already there, but to the utmost joy of the two grils, he told them that he had some urgent business to attend to, and they were to remain in the class. They sit down on a bench and talked about anything and everything really. Alice told Bella that she and four of the group she saw her with in the canteen were the adopted children of the two most wanderful people she know, Esme and Carlisle Cullen. They all came from families with problems, being abandoned or having dead parents, and the Cullen couple adopted them and loved them as their own children. Esme was, as Alice told her, the very best mother one could wish for, but she couldn't have children of her own, so she spread her love on her adopted children and the children of the various orphanages from the towns they lived in.

Alice told her that Rosalie, the blonde girl and Jasper, her love are twins, and they are the godchildren of Esme. Rosalie had some serious problems in her earlier life and that why she sometimes is cold and rejecting, but she has a heart of gold if one knows how to approach her, and she sincerely loves her family and above all else, Emmett, the muscular, tall guy Bella saw her with. Emmett had, according to Alice, the biggest sense of humor in the family, and could make fun of almost anything, except his deep love and care for Rosalie.

Alice confided to Bella, that Jasper was the love of her life, and Bella, having seen the way Jasper looked at Alice was sure that the feeling was reciprocated. They didn't had an easy life before coming to live with the Cullen family, but with them, and having each other, they couldn't be happier. Jasper wasn't the guy who formed friendships in the easiest way, but he was protective of all his loved ones.

\- You probably find it difficult to comprehend how people who should see each other as siblings could fall in love, but … - Alice started to say, and didn't let Bella interrupt her, when she tried to deny it – but we weren't exactly children when we came to live with the Cullen family, so we never exactly saw each other as siblings. Yes, we love each other as brothers and sisters, but we, Jasper and I, and Emmett and Rosalie fell in love almost at first sight. The only one who didn't found his soulmate already is Edward – Alice told Bella with glistening eyes.

\- He didn't? – Bella asked with ill-conceived curiosity. – I thought that he was with the other blonde girl, Tanya I believe – Bella glanced at Alice expectantly, hoping, without knowing, or wanting to know, why this interested her so much.

\- Tanya? – Alice laughed. – No Bella, Edward is not in love with Tanya. Tanya would want nothing more than to be with my brother, but he doesn't love her, nor will he ever. She is not even wholly part of our family. She just lives with us, her family and Carlisle are friends since forever – said Alice, smiling, as she would know something Bella didn't. – So, tell me about yourself – Alice changed the curse of the discussion to Bella.

Bella usually wasn't so fond of talking about herself, but with Alice she felt she could be sincere. She told Alice about her mother, about how she and her mother moved after the divorce, how she missed the hometown so dear to her heart in the years of her adolescence. She told her how she resented the fact that her mother divorced her father, and how much anger she felt when she met Phil, the guy her mother replaced her father with. After their marriage, Bella felt suffocated in her own house, and the fights between her and her mother became more frequent and after a while she felt that her mother didn't love, or even liked her anymore. She felt that Renee wanted to spend her time with her new husband, so she packed her bags and came home to her father. Her mother was wounded by this, but Bella thought that only because she chose Charlie over her, not out of pure motherly love. They never became close again, although after the divorce and the moving, they had a real close relationship. Bella told Alice that this situation still hurt her more than anything, but her father made a great work of closing her wounds with his love.

Having had a wonderful chat with Alice, Bella felt that the hour passed too soon, and didn't exactly wanted to separate herself from this new found friend. They started to go together to the parking lot, this being their last class of the day. When Alice suggested, no, begged Bella to go to shopping with her, Bella was more than glad for the program she thought of. Once, not so long ago, Bella was just like any other girl from school, she loved to go shopping and to spend her time in the mall. This too changed after that fateful day. She couldn't remember when was the last time she went shopping, and was happy for tomorrow, when with Alice, she could spend a full day shopping and gossiping. Although she met Alice only today, she felt as she knew her from forever.

They arrived in the parking lot and Bella saw Edward beside his car. Tanya was with him, and seeing her so close to him made Bella uneasy. Edward looked in their direction, and when he saw her and Alice coming out together, his lips turned into a surprised, but happy smile. Tanya, who was observing Edward, turned her head in the way his eyes were looking, and she was shocked when she saw Bella and Alice together. Bella didn't observe her nervous gaze, because she was too lost in Edward's eyes, so she was astonished when the blonde girl suddenly wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and started to kiss him. Bella felt unknown emotions rise in her heart, and she didn't understand herself. Why, she was acting and feeling as though she was jealous of him, but the mere thought was unsettling and out of order. She quickly turned her eyes from the kissing pair, made her excuses of a very angry Alice and started to walk to her car to try to get away from her embarrassing thoughts and feeling. Alice yelled to Bella to not forget their plans for the next day, and inadvertently she turned back to reassure Alice, but her eyes locked again on Edward and Tanya. Edward didn't push Tanya away, so Alice must be wrong about their relationship. Bella quickly left the parking lot in her car with tempestuous feelings.


	3. Chapter 3

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Bella couldn't keep her mind off all the things that happened to her that day. This single day gave her more things to think about than the last two years together. It was the first time she was this aware of her surroundings too in more time than she cared to count. She just couldn't put her finger on the problem, why was she so upset by the prospect that Edward and Tanya could be together. It was none of her business. The unsettling thing was, why was she interested in him so much. After what happened to her, she was sure that she would never feel anything towards a man. And here comes this stranger, whom she doesn't know one bit, and takes away her reasonable piece. The way Alice talked about her brother, he must be a good guy, Bella mused, but even this thought didn't calm her.

Why it was that Edward and Alice so easily found the way to her heart and thoughts? She kept thinking about them while shopping for the night's dinner and even after getting home and starting to do her homework. Bella found interesting the fact that she was so open with Alice about herself, and was genuinely curious about her too. She just couldn't find pleasure in the ordinary problems of her other schoolmates, but with Alice, she found a person equally mature as she was. She tried to keep her mind on Alice only, but the conversation she had with Edward kept overcoming everything else in her mind.

She found a note in the kitchen from her father, informing her that they will have guests for dinner that night. Billy and Jacob were coming to watch some sort of sport event in the TV. Bella smiled at the thought of seeing her best friend again. She still remembered the amount of adventures and mischief Jacob had introduced her to when they were children. Their parents had been friends and they spent almost their entire childhood together, until Bella's parents divorced. They were often caught red-handed and punished, but more often than that they provoked laughter and joy in their families life. After Bella moved back with her father, Jacob was the first to visit and welcome her back. Although Bella pushed everybody away from herself in the last months, Jacob wasn't among them. They didn't meet regularly, going to different school put a toll on their time together, but Jacob and Billy were among the very few people who knew what happened to her. She would forever be grateful, because Billy was the only one who stood by her father's side and strengthened him in those awful times. Just as Jacob was her rock then too.

\- Bells, I'm home – Bella's thoughts were interrupted by her father. – Where are you?

\- I'm in here, in the kitchen – Bella yelled to him, while making the final adjustments on the mouthwatering dinner she prepared. – How was your day? – she asked him smiling when he stepped in.

\- It was fine – Charlie's face broke in a smile matching his daughter's. It felt like ages ago when Bella welcomed this happy and smiling his father at night. – How was your day?

\- It was fine too – Bella said still smiling. – I met the new kids in town, I'm sure you heard of them, the children of Doctor Cullen – she looked at her father expectantly.

\- Yes, yes, I met him. He seems to be a good person – he said. – What was your opinion of his children? I heard he has six adoptive kids, right?

\- No, only five of them are his and his wife's adoptive children. I met two of them today. Alice, one of his daughters told me. We had a pleasant chat in school today, she is lovely, dad. I liked her very much. She told me more about their family. One of the girls is only temporarily with them, she is the daughter of a friend of their father's, I think, if I understood correctly. She, I mean, Alice, invited me tomorrow to go shopping with her, if it is okay with you – Bella finished her sentence with a questioning edge in her voice.

\- Yes, I have no problem if you want to go – Charlie looked surprised. – I would be the happiest father if you would make new friends and if you could start living your life fully as you once did, Bells.

\- I try dad, you know that I try – Bella said with tears in her eyes. She loved him so much and it destroyed her to know she was causing him so much misery. – I don't think that I will ever forget, but today, having met new people, who seem much more mature than my fellow schoolmates, I think I came to the point of continuing my life. It will not be easy, but I'm willing to try. Dad, I don't want you to worry about me so much.

\- Darling, it is only natural to worry about my only daughter, especially after all you've been through – Charlie told his daughter, while embracing her. – I want you to be happy. I will be forever by your side.

Their emotion laden moment was interrupted by the bell. Their guests have arrived. The criteria of a true friendship is that no matter how much time passes without seeing your friend, when you're finally reunited it's like no time has passed at all, nothing can change the way you feel about each other. Bella couldn't remember precisely when was the last time she was face-to-face with Jacob, but was more than happy to perceive that they acted around each other and talked as if they hadn't seen each other only since yesterday.

They spent a terrific evening together and when the time came for Jacob and Billy to go home, Jacob made sure to extort a promise of Bella, that she will visit him in La Push soon, as she had done once. Bella gave in seriously knowing that this time she will keep her promise. She went to bed still smiling after the full day she had had. She felt more alive than she had in months, and it was only because she let herself close to people who cared for her. She was happy for reuniting with Jacob, and she had a feeling that with Alice she found her best friend. After showering she checked her closet wardrobe and was terrified to see how little and how old clothes she owned. She once had pretty clothes and confidence and as she turned in for the night, she vowed to herself that she will change her current style and mood starting tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

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 _Enjoy!_

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It seemed that it was the beginning of the age of surprises and firsts for Bella. Saturday morning, the day after she met Alice and the rest of the Cullens, she woke, as usual to the sound of her clock, but it was the first time in months when she wasn't glad for being awaken. She usually had nightmares, and it came as a relief when the clock pulled her out of them, but this day, her dreams weren't haunted by things of the past or other unpleasant events. She didn't exactly knew all the happenings in her dream, but she remembered Edward being a part of it, and lingering sense of happiness and joy.

Sighing she went to take a shower and prepare for the day. While she chose her attire she thought about the way her perspective changed so suddenly. She realized now that she, in the bottom of her heart, wanted to start living fully again, but for some reason her mind was reluctant to let her. It was probably only necessary for someone to come and impulse her to action. It wasn't normal for a young woman, hell, it wasn't normal for anybody to condemn herself to unhappiness and suffering only because of past problems, Bella reasoned. Difficulties happened in every persons life, but after having your time to deal with it, it was just natural to move on, learn to live with the memory, and try your best to make yourself happy. One day at a time. Bella was young when her problems started, but that wasn't a motive to start punishing herself. The happiness wasn't a feeling that filled each and every day of someone's life, and most of the time one has to fight for the moments of happiness wanted or deserved, but Bella, for the first time, was ready for the new beginning. For herself. While thinking about all this, she went to the kitchen and found her dad already there. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down beside him, sipping her coffee in comfortable silence.

\- So, what are you planning for today? – Charlie asked his daughter, after putting down the newspaper he was reading.

\- I told you yesterday that I'm meeting Alice Cullen today. We will be going shopping – Bella reminded her father softly teasing him. She knew why he asked again, it wasn't about him forgetting her plans, it was because how unpredictable she was, she planned something, and changed her mind after thinking more carefully about it.

\- Okay, Bells – he told her smiling. – I'm happy that you go out today, although I would like to meet this Alice you seemed so excited about yesterday. Where are you going to meet her?

Just as Bella wanted to respond her father she realized she didn't know the answer. She was so anxious to get away from school the previous day, after seeing Edward and Tanya kissing, that they didn't fix an hour and place to meet. She was thinking about how this was going to play out, when the doorbell rang. She stopped mid-sentence and went to open the door. Outside was standing a girl with the biggest smile Bella has ever seen.

\- Alice, hi. How did you get here? – Bella asked her after recovering from the initial shock.

\- Hi, Bella. I realized yesterday, after you already left that we didn't agreed on anything for this day, and I thought that it would be nice for me to come pick you and when we finish I will drive you home. I knew where you lived, who wouldn't know where lives the sheriff? – she softly laughed while Bella let her in the house.

\- Bella, who is it? – Charlie came out from the kitchen to check on his daughter.

\- Alice came for me, dad. Alice, this is my father, Charlie Swan. Dad, this is Alice Cullen.

It was plain to see in Charlie's face that he liked the new friend of her daughter. Secretly he was more than pleased. While trying to help Bella cope with the world falling apart around her, he got to search answers and methods of giving back her life and optimism to Bella on the internet. He knew that this period of self-punishing will pass for his daughter, but was concerned what will be the next step. Now, meeting Alice, he was glad that his daughter found her, and it was this the way she started recovering.

Bella and Alice went on their way to shopping in Port Angeles. On the whole journey they chatted animatedly, discussing all sorts of trivial details about each other. After getting to the shops their attention was mostly on the clothes. Alice had the best sense in choosing and combining clothes and Bella was more than happy to be the one Alice tried her ideas on. At lunch time they rested a little while Bella ate with healthy appetite, as she skipped the breakfast, but to Bella's utter confusion Alice ordered food she didn't ate, stating she had had something for dinner the other night that didn't sit well in her stomach.

\- What are you going to do tomorrow? – Bella asked Alice. They were already on their way home, with lots of bags and tired, but spirited and joyful just the same.

\- Tomorrow is going to be a sunny day – Alice said as though it was a statement meant to explain everything.

\- And? – Bella waited for the continuation, not understanding what importance it makes if the next day will be sunny or it will be raining, as usual.

\- Oh… We… My family and I usually go trekking when it is sunny – Alice explained. – Why do you ask?

\- For nothing, I just thought that maybe you would have wanted to come by my place – Bella felt as heat rose in her cheeks, she wasn't the type who could easily express her feelings.

\- I would love to Bella, but I've promised my family that I will go with them. If the invitation remains valid, I would want to come maybe in the following weekend.

They agreed that they will met and spend the one of the following weekends entirely together. When they got back to Bella's house it was already dark outside. Alice helped Bella to get her bags in the house and after a hug she was on her way to her home too. Charlie was more than pleased to see his daughter happy. Bella didn't have the energy to put all her new clothes in the wardrobe so she let this task for the next day, and after a quick shower she went to sleep.

The next day Alice's prediction over the weather proved to be right, the sun was out and warmed the still air of January in an almost unusual way for this city and this month. Bella spent the day trying to fit in her wardrobe the amount of clothes she bought with Alice. When the night came she tried to make an outfit for tomorrow with the new clothes and accessories, but most of all with the advises of Alice ringing in her head. She wanted to be and feel beautiful again so she chose with care her outfit. Finally, her choice fell on a dark gray dress, which she would wear with stockings and a middle heel black boot Alice wanted her to have. Bella didn't want to analyze the motive of her new found desire to be elegant and beautiful, but she went to sleep smiling knowing that she will see Alice and Edward too the next morning.


	5. Chapter 5

Although she was tired when she stopped the alarm clock, she was anxious to get to school, and it was a foreign feeling it its own. She didn't waste time to analyze her emotions, but she took extra care with her appearance. She dressed in the gray winter dress she had chosen from the newly bought ones and she even made a subtle make-up, after taking care of her long wavy locks. Bella, for the first time in months, if not ever, was totally pleased with the image she saw in the mirror that morning. Growing up with a low self-esteem, she always found something on her own body to complain about. Her mother tried to ignite in her the confidence and femininity by taking her often to shopping and urging her to love herself, even teaching her methods of make-up and different hairstyles. After she remarried and their mother-daughter relationship started to vanish, Bella's blossoming confidence suffered a powerful impact, from which it didn't recovered after moving to her father either. She experienced her worst period while having doubts in her own aspect and beauty, and it did awful things to her self-confidence. Now, standing in front of the mirror, for the first time feeling close to beauty, she realized that she had grown up from an adolescent with lack of self-confidence, to a woman who, if wanted, could be beautiful and charming. It was a powerful sentiment.

After taking a light breakfast and a coffee at home, reading, but not registering the words from the newspaper her father had left on the desk from the kitchen, she drove to school. Arriving in the parking lot a little bit earlier than she used to, she easily spotted the Cullen family around their two luxurious cars. Despite de early hour the parking lot was almost full, so she parked near the car Edward was standing by. She stepped out in the light rain which was pouring from the stormy looking sky, and she was instantly greeted by and excited and ear-to-ear smiling Alice. She hugged and kissed, Bella and in a patronizing voice she stated that she chose her attire perfectly and she looked amazing in the dress. She took her hand in her own little ones and not caring for Bella's reluctance, she dragged her to the other members of her family.

\- Everyone, this is Bella, my newest best friend. Bella, you already met Edward, right? – Alice asked with a mischievous smile and winking at her silently smiling brother. – She is Rose and he is Emmett, the big one, with the greatest sense of humor and a soft heart. She is Tanya, I think you met her too. And he is Jasper, my one and only – Alice finished the introductions. They were all smiling at Bella with sincerity, all, but Tanya. She was looking at her with hatred, as though she had made something awful to her. Bella returned her gaze without fear, and locked eyes with the beautiful woman. She tried to transmit through her eyes, that she didn't understand why she was looking at her this way, but their interlocked gaze was interrupted by Emmett, who true to Alice's description, started making jokes as soon as they all welcomed Bella in their group.

Bella soon realized that when she started a friendship with Alice, and now the almost whole Cullen family, she had become visible again after many months of solitude in the eyes of her fellow schoolmates. While they chatted lively in the parking lot that morning, the whole's school's eyes were pointed toward the gathering, neither of them understanding how the odd, the freak turned Bella could integrate herself in this new beautiful, jet somehow standoffish family. They all had tried to sweet talk the good-looking rich kids, but they were distant and didn't engage in many conversations, beside the ones they had with each other. And now she comes, Bella comes, who turned her back on everybody and started to become isolated years ago, only to be the only one they pay attention to and welcome in their solitary union.

Bella didn't payed attention to them while still talking to the Cullen brothers, but as soon as she was left alone, wandering from one class to other, she started to hear the whispered comments on her new attire and newfound friends. She already knew this attitude from her ex friends and schoolmates, she was once the freak, new girl, daughter of the sheriff, with whom, at first, nobody wanted to talk, but everybody talked about. She loathed it then, and now, listening to their chatter, realized her hatred didn't changed. Step by step, she won them over, with her sweetness and kindness, but as soon as she started acting weird and started pushing them and everybody else away, they turned their back to her and seemingly forgot all the good things that bond them. At first, being terrified by everything surrounding her, she pushed them away, although, they tried to be by her side, not really knowing what happened to her. For them, it still was a secret, an unknown occurrence which made Bella the way she was, and she was sure that very few people will learn the truth, if any. Growing tired of her hysteria and crying, they started to let her more and more time alone, until one day when nobody cared for her, getting to name her crazy in the whispered gossips behind her back. Their conduct bothered Bella, but once she understood them too. Today, she just started to see them with renewed and mature eyes, realizing that none of them were true, real friends.

She made her way to the biology classroom, the class in which she sat next to Edward. She didn't care to analyze why her heart started beating faster at the thought. When Bella arrived in the classroom she noticed that Edward already sat at the desk they shared the last time with a kind, inviting smile on his full lips. His eyes drank in her sight in her new clothes and the mischievous glint and the smile he wear told Bella he liked what he saw. She was thrilled, although she didn't understand why. She never wanted for the boys to observe her, but now, with Edward's eyes on her form she felt beautiful and incredibly alive. Why was that? Why was he having such a big effect on her?

\- You are beautiful today, Bella – Edward interrupted her thought when she sat down beside him with sparkling eyes.

\- Thank you – was the only response Bella managed to squeeze out with an adorable blush coloring her cheeks.

Edward didn't let her to get lost in her thoughts again, and he, as the last time too, started a conversation, which entertained them through the class. The fact that Tanya kissed him, and he let her to do this was still fresh on Bella's mind, but she chose to push it away. After all, even if they were together, she still could be friends with Edward. She was annoyed by the prospect that Tanya was his choice, an annoyance she didn't wanted to examine, but she acted as though she accepted this as a fact, just as she accepted and liked the other two couples of the Cullen family.

Since that conversation passed a full month. A month filled with laughter, joy and happiness for Bella. She found her place with her new friends as if she was the last piece to make the team perfect. She enjoyed the unmeasurable jokes of Emmett and Jasper, formed a bond with Rosalie and found her best friend in Alice. The only person who didn't fully welcomed her was Tanya, but having the support and friendship of the other Cullen's, even Tanya didn't say or do anything against Bella. And of course, there was Edward too, with whom Bella realized how many things she had in common. She enjoyed his company more than the rest of the family and was and was excited for all the time they spent together. She didn't wanted to recognize her feelings for him, but after a while she just had to admit that she fell in love with the incredible handsome Edward Cullen.


	6. Chapter 6

After a while she just had to admit that she fell in love with the incredibly handsome Edward Cullen. From the first moment they lay their eyes on each other, Bella felt an attraction she hadn't known before for him. In the same time this feeling was exhilarating and scaring her more than anything. The worst thing was that what started as an attraction only, developed into a sentiment deeper and more beautiful than she thought of at first. And it terrified Bella, not only because of her past problems, but also because she didn't know if Edward felt the same, or he only saw her as a friend, as the best friend of his sister. She saw in his eyes a flame burning when they were together, but he never told her or made any specific move to make her know what he felt. And another thing that made Bella think that probably Edward wasn't feeling the same way about her was the presence of Tanya in their life. Tanya was behaving around Edward as she was his wife and although he sometimes, when Tanya's actions were exaggerated or obvious seemed annoyed with her, never did he stop her.

The person who most certainly knew about her feelings for Edward was Alice. They never got to talk about this, but she just seemed to know, Bella had no idea where from. Jasper and Emmett teased her and sometimes Edward mercilessly, but subtly and without the jokes being insulting. Everybody laughed, even Bella at this jokes, everybody except Tanya, who even after a month continued to send her way daggers from her eyes, and Bella felt that if Tanya's eyes could kill, she would drop dead on a daily basis.

When she was with Edward, she felt safe and respected. He was behaving like a true gentleman, more so than any other men she ever met. When she was with him, she felt herself as if in an old movie she was so fond of watching, receiving the attention of Edward. When he was with her he was attentive, listening closely to everything she had to say, and having interesting, exciting and innovative conversations with him. It was exhilarating to talk to him, Edward having vast interests and knowledge, something Bella never found in boys her age, and keenly missed. There were many things she liked about him, that weren't exactly matching his age, Bella mussed one night. His behavior, his knowledge, and his sensitivity made Bella feel as if she was with a fully grown up man, raised it seemed in another epoch. She laughed at the absurd thought.

Absurd thought or not, Bella observed other things about the Cullen's that seemed at least strange. They spent the lunch break every day together, this time passing by with laughter, but also with deep conversations too. During these times, Bella realized how much the Cullen's resembled each other, in thoughts and in looks too. Bella reasoned that the similar mentality came from being raised together by Esme and Carlisle Cullen. But she didn't find any reason why they looked alike, without them being real brothers or other family members. The colors of their eyes were similar at all of them, all of them having golden eyes. She could have accepted this too as normal if only their eyes remained always golden, but it wasn't like this. Sometimes it seemed that the golden was deeper, slowly turning to black. Bella couldn't find any reasonable explanation to this situation, and she didn't know how to ask them this, without sounding ridiculous.

Another strange thing about them, about all of them was the lack of needing to eat at lunch break. They sat together since the day Alice introduces Bella to her family, and they bought the food, but they never ate it. Bella ate while they talked, laughed and spent quality time, but she noticed too, that she was the only one eating. Although she found strange things about them, the bond that formed between them made her to dismiss all the questions she had.

With these and similar thoughts in her mind left Bella the classroom Friday, after finishing the last class of the week. She was so lost in thoughts that she collided with a hard body in her way to the parking lot, and instantly felt two powerful arms supporting her and bringing her closer still to the body. She felt the familiar perfume of Edward and then met his eyes, blushing profoundly at being in such close proximity to him. His lips where curled in a smile and his deep golden eyes bore into Bella's eyes with such a tenderness it took her breath away. It was in moments like this one, that she thought that he may feel something for her too. Probably discovering something he was looking for in her eyes, Edward strengthened his hold on Bella's waist and his face was slowly getting closer to her, as if he was planning to kiss her. Bella hold her breath, both in excitement and fright, but as all beautiful moments in general, this one was interrupted too.

\- Hello, Edward and Bella – the shrill voice of Tanya cut through the emotionally charged air, and the next moment she was, with Alice at her side, beside Edward, who let go of Bella when he heard his name.

The two of them returned a rather shallow salute to the girls, and listened to the happy chatter of Alice, while Tanya shot angry glances Bella's way. It was maybe the first time Bella didn't observed the daggers Tanya was sending her way, and that was because she was still blushing and trembling after what almost transpired between her and Edward. She still couldn't quite realize how something this magical could have happened to her, and as she stole a quick glance at Edward still standing at her side, she saw that he too seemed lost in his thoughts. She dared not hope that this moment they just shared was an indication of his feeling too, but she couldn't deny it that she would have loved to know where it would have led, if Tanya and Alice didn't appear at the moment they chose to. It seemed that it would remain a mystery, but the way Edward looked at her and held her, and most important the way she reacted at being in his arms told Bella, that after all this time, she was finally ready to let her heart and mind feel and live again.

\- So, Bella, if we both had finished classes for today, we can go to your house already, no? – Bella became aware of the one sided conversation Alice was having when she heard her name.

\- Yes, we can go, of course – she seemed confused and lost in her own world, a situation Tanya found most alarming, but Alice just smiled at her knowingly.

\- Take care of yourself and have fun – Edward whispered to Bella's ears alone, and he placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

The happening after Edward's kiss where a blur in Bella's mind afterwards when she thought about them. Alice linked their arms together and they went on their way to the parking lot, and to Bella's house, where the two of them would spend the weekend together. Alice continued to talk all the way to Bella's house, but Bella just couldn't keep her mind at what Alice was talking about. After they got home though, she had to bring herself together, because it would become evident to everybody if she would continue to be so lost in her thoughts, and why not, fantasies. And besides, her father was home and she had to make the introductions.

Her father liked Alice right away, she easily, without any effort swept him of his feet, and with his keen perception, he was happy that Bella found Alice. He was sure that this exuberant and lively girl would make his daughter to live again too. The way the two girls acted around each other told him, without equivoque that theirs was a true friendship, but he also sensed something about Bella that he couldn't quite categorize just at the moment. She had an aura about herself he didn't saw in a long time if ever, but she seemed more that happy too, so he wasn't nervous about her.

Meanwhile, Alice and Bella had the time of their life the whole weekend. They talked, they laughed, and they got to know each other profoundly. They talked about their childhood, the thinks they liked or hated, their families and of course, boys. Alice told her everything about her and Jasper and about their love, and directed the conversation to Bella's relations.

\- I couldn't exactly say I had serious relationships, Alice – Bella told her blushing.

\- But why not? You are young, beautiful and kind, what boy in his right mind wouldn't want to be with you?

\- I've had boys who were interested in me, and I've been interested in them too, but then happened something in my life that changed everything – Bella revealed to Alice, not wanting fully to talk about it, but knowing that she would certainly ask.

\- What happened, Bella? – Alice asked curiously, but seeing the strained expression on Bella's face, she amended – If you want to talk about it of course.

\- I don't want to talk about it, but I know that I can trust you, and maybe, talking about it will bring along the healing too – Bella took a deep breath and started talking. – It happened not long after my moving to my father. At the time, I was quite popular at the school, I wasn't so introverted like now, and I've rapidly made friends with the local kids. My best friend in that group was Angela, the only one I feel sorry to have broke the friendship with. It was one of the days we spent together, doing homework, gossiping, or just being together. It was already dark when I prepared to go home. I remember we had some difficult homework to do, and a scandal about some girl from other group to gossip about. I wasn't afraid of going home in the evening; I've been doing it for months, since I got here and befriended her. At that night however, I felt strange, as though somebody was watching me. It made me uneasy, and I tried to move faster, to get home faster. I heard noises; I saw shadows that disappeared at a second glance. I was almost running when I collided with a hard body. When I raised my eyes to the face of the stranger, I saw a man with blond hair and an insolent smile on his lips. I was frightened of him, and I tried to get away from him, but he wouldn't let me. I… - Bella couldn't continue her story due to the tears that welled up in her eyes and she fell in Alice's arms sobbing. – He raped me, and robed me of everything I had, my life, my energy, my wanting to be happy and live – Bella said after she calmed down a bit. – He left me there. That's where my father found me the next day, after he searched for me worried and scared to death the whole night.

After telling Alice everything that happened and that changed Bella forever, she felt her heart relieved and calm, as though talking about this so openly and freely, as she never was able before, she felt that the wounds she carried in her heart for so long were now healing effectively. They didn't talked about this again, and so, the remaining of the weekend was filled happiness and joy for both of the girls.

\- Bella, do you love my brother? Do you love Edward? – asked Alice to the total shock of Bella one evening while they lay in bed preparing to sleep. Bella thought that her feelings where thoroughly hidden, but now, looking in the clear and serious eyes of her best friend, she realized that, at least Alice, wasn't fooled by her indifference mask.

\- No… why would you think such a thing? – Bella tried to delude the question still.

\- Bella, you don't trust me? – asked Alice in a heartbreaking whisper, not looking in Bella's eyes anymore.

\- I trust you, but – started Bella, but she realized that she just can't lie to her. Friendships, most importantly, serious friendships as theirs weren't based on lies. – Yes, Alice, I think I fell in love with him – admitted at last loudly Bella.

\- I knew it – Alice squealed and hugged Bella tightly.

\- Shh Alice, you will wake my father – Bella hushed her friend while smiling in her arms. – And besides, I told you I love him, but that doesn't mean he loves me too.

\- Oh, how can you think about something like this? Of course he loves you; he just didn't let himself show you. He is just as afraid of his feelings as you are.

Bella eagerly asked Alice about Tanya's presence in Edward's life too, and was more relieved than she wanted to analyze about the fact that Edward didn't want anything to do with Tanya. She expressed her doubts about Edward's supposed love for her, feelings presented as facts by Alice, and her fears of a relationship with a man. Maybe, just maybe – Bella thought – Alice was right about everything, about Edward's love, and about the fact that with the right man, she would learn to get over every past scars.


End file.
